Sunday, April 11, 2010

The death rattle of marriage #1

Back to the past again, dear readers! So I am still married. We owned a lovely house on Lincoln street. We had a beautiful little girl. I had a great job at Belden. Do you think that was enough? Of course it wasn't!
After I got back from Chattanooga, things did a 180. I no longer cared about trying to make my marriage work. If I was able to do the things I did, could I have honestly been in love?
Things got uglier and uglier between me and LL. One night he came out to Belden to bring me my Xanax, and I can't remember what he said, but it upset me highly! I downed a full bottle of purples at WORK. As the blackness closed in I stumbled into my boss's office. I don't remember much, but apparently I was taken by ambulance to Reid and was restrained and refused to even see any family. LL said I wasn't suicidal and I avoided the psych ward. Which is a shame because that's probably just what I needed. I was released after the oh-so-fun shot of charcoal and went back home to reality.
I let a couple of friends stay with us for a while, Toad and AP. We sat around smoking weed and reminiscing about what might have been. At the same time got my first computer. Guess what the first thing I did was? I looked up Tiny.
I still can't figure it out,I had everything a girl could ever want, but it STILL wasn't enough!
Well one night Toad and AP asked me if I remembered BP, the guy I had done that huge rail of coke with and used to buy pot off of. Of course I did! Had a nasty crush on him for years. We jumped in the old Mercury Mystique and went to his house to say Hi!
Being a hopeless romantic the next part seems goofy to me now but, the second he walked down his stairs and our eyes locked, that was it. The death rattle occurred and my first marriage was over. Within 2 weeks I had left LL and got my own place. This is the beginning of the WORST 10 years of my life. If you've been following you know I will not say that lightly so hold on, it's about to get really bad!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

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