Thursday, September 30, 2010

OK, so I am totally screwed....

Well dear readers, as you know I had court today. Chris took half the day off so he could come with me. Guess one of his many talents is not being a good luck charm as it did NOT go well!
I got there about 5 minutes early and proceeded to sit in the hallway for the next hour. Chris said that I was shaking, all I know is that my nerves were shot all to hell. I was POSITIVE I would get a continuance as I just met my lawyer 3 frickin' days ago. It was not meant to be....
After the lawyer came out of the courtroom, he informed Chris and I that not only did I not get the continuance, the DA is sticking to the plea offer she made. I have only a few days to decide if I want to take it or not. For those of you who don't know the specifics, I was offered a year on the receiving stolen property charge, and 250 days on the probation violation. They are to be served consecutively. So with credit for good time, I will be in prison for 10 months.
I don't see any way around this sadly. If I take it to trial and am found guilty I would probably be a lot worse off. So I am going to officially be a convicted felon. This means the death of a lot of dreams. I will never be able to leave the country, I lose my right to vote, and (luckily for BP) I cannot own a gun!
Chris is being really terrific about the whole thing. Not only is he going to stand by me, he is also going to take care of the kids. I have to give him a crash course in running a household, but I am sure he's gonna do great. He is the only positive male role model the kids have ever really had, and he loves them as if they are his own.
So for now I am just going to concentrate on spending as much time with my fiancee and kids as I can and trying to mentally prepare Chris and myself for what's coming. After all, we are spending the rest of our lives together. 10 months isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, is it?
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Court update

I just got back from meeting yet ANOTHER lawyer. The Wayne county public defender's office is in complete disarray right now. This is my FOURTH lawyer so far. The bad news is that I have no cohesion in my defense thus far. The good news is that it looks like I'm gonna get yet another continuance.
It's strange to me that every lawyer I have had so far seems genuinely surprised that the case has gone as far as it has. According to the statute I have to have known the property I received was stolen. I'm sorry but I am WAY to smart to take something I knew was stolen into a pawn shop. That alone should be proof of my innocence, but what the hell do I know?
So I am in a strange position here kittykats. My lawyer thinks he might be able to get me house arrest due to the fact that my son is disabled and there is not really anyone else to take care of him. Chris said that he would be happy to, but I hate to ask him to do that. That's a lot of pressure!
If I take house arrest I am going to have to enter a guilty plea and therefore I will be a convicted felon. I hate to lie like that and say I did it when I did not. At the same time if I take the case to trial and am found guilty it could turn out a LOT worse! So I am in a no win situation!
One thing that I am so grateful for is Chris. He says that no matter what happens in this sorry situation he is going to stand by me. That was my #1 fear-losing him! He's a hell of a man!
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Hell freezes over....

OK so I just made a liar out of myself, and I couldn't be happier about it. For those of you that have been hiding under a rock or are not my facebook friends, I am officially engaged.
Chris and I had talked about it for a while, but just talked. Monday night we're cuddling in bed and he looks at me and says, "Jamie Brady Petitt, will you marry me?" Of course being the person I am the response was, "HELL YEAH!" Typical Jamie....
I know, I know, I have railed against the institution of marriage due to bad experiences. The times I got married before were for all the wrong reasons, so I am more to blame than marriage itself. This time around I don't have that little voice in my head saying, "DON'T DO IT!" Plus it's going to be a nice long engagement. I want to be sure I'm sure, and that he is as well.
Of course it still bothers the hell out of me that my LBGT brothers and sisters cannot marry. I feel like my refusal to do it myself will do nothing to help our cause. Why should I deprive Chris because of one of my convictions?
So finally after all this time my road has led me to something amazing. If I trace it all back, several of the most painful experiences over the last few months had to happen to lead me to him. As I always say: you have to take every step on your road, whether good or ill, to lead you to where you are today!
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Standing up for ME!!!

Hey everyone, I missed you! I just flat out refuse to be too boring, so I thought I'd wait until I had something to write about. Chris has inspired me to write about what a God damned pushover I am.
I have said in posts before that I am a people pleaser, but I guess this is the understatement of the century. It's one of the number one sticking points in my relationship. Chris doesn't understand why I care about people that just walk all over me. It almost cost me him last week.
A friend of mine stopped by the house last week before he had to go to work. I have been friends with him for a long time and was under the impression that he was clean. We sat around and talked for awhile and he got ready to go to work. He patted his pocket and got a surprised look on his face. Apparently he had a needle on him and did not have time to go home to put it away.
So he begged me to hold onto it for the 8 hours he was to be at work. I said no, I don't want anything like that anywhere near me. He kept on begging and laid a guilt trip on me. It was something to the effect of, "I have all these kids, and if I lose my job they will starve." So I agreed, like an idiot. Can you see where I am going with this?
Yep Chris found it in my purse and FLIPPED OUT! It took a hell of a lot of explaining to make him see that it was not mine. I told him that he could check me for track marks, give me a drug test, whatever he wanted to do. Eventually he saw that I was telling the truth.
I can see why he was so upset, because I put my friend ahead of Chris's wishes. That is a mistake I will never make again. It almost cost me my soul mate. So I have dropped this friend for the sake of myself and my family.
It always sucks to lose a friend, but I could have lost a lot more. I am working on being more assertive and putting my foot down. It just goes to show you living a clean life is not just quitting drugs, it is changing your thought process and how you react to the world around you!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A worthy trade off!

There are certain trade-offs that one must make in life. Some of these are negative and we call it compromise. Others are for the best and we barely feel them.
I have fallen into the latter category kittykats! I am still insanely happy, but herein lies the rub: I have AWFUL writers block.
Literally, I have no idea what to even write in this post. I don't spend all of my time stuck in my own head anymore so ideas are a bit thin. I must have Sylvia Plath syndrome, I can't write unless I am miserable and wanting to die.
I was hoping this would be a temporary thing and once Chris and I were past the "honeymoon" period I would get back on it. Well it's been a couple months and we've had our share of arguments, and still nothing.
So for now I am abandoning ship until I have something worth saying. I am hoping making this declaration might jinx me into being prolific again, we'll see!
Thanks for everyone who has rode out this weird-ass year with me. I still can't believe how much has happened in 2010 and there are still almost 4 more months to go! Oh lord...
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Hey Jealousy

Nobody is perfect, least of all myself. I am aware of this, but what do you do when a character flaw really annoys you?
I have identified the chink in my champion’s armor. Don’t get me wrong, Chris is still my ideal guy, and the one I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. There is one thing that I really wish we could work on though. He has what some professionals call “trust issues.”
Apparently he had the same girlfriend all through high school, and was madly in love. At least until the day he came home to find her mid-coitus with another. After the shock of this he found out that this was not even close to the first time this had happened. I think after this he just shut himself down until recently.
As you well know I stay home and take care of the domestic things while he is at work. I am more than a little bored for a big chunk of the day, as it took us a while to get set up with cable, phone, internet, and other time-sucking devices. Through the boredom I find ways to amuse myself, mostly rereading my books. I do nothing wrong.
He has these nightmare visions of me playing desperate housewife and having someone over during the day. Nothing could be farther from the truth, but it’s something that is always in the back of his mind. How do I convince him that I would never hurt him like that?
Today for example, I went out to get hair coloring, as he wanted to see me as a redhead. Don’t misconstrue this as controlling, I was ready to dye my hair anyway and I usually go red in the Fall. Well I was a bit longer than he expected. The Jeep started to overheat and I took my time at CVS to make sure I had the best color for me. When I came home he was sitting on the porch sulking. I feel like I can’t leave the house without him getting worried about what I am doing. This is no way to live.
I can understand being reluctant to trust anyone after your first love betrayed you, but after 10 years?!I truly believe it is time to get over it. I am not anyone’s property! The fact that the man I love so desperately thinks I would toss him aside like so much trash kills me. Not to mention that questioning what I do when I am alone is right next door to calling me a whore. If he wants to spend forever with me as he says, he needs to let go and just believe in me. I think that I am worth the leap of faith.
This is a new thing for me, as most of my exes frankly didn’t care enough about me to be jealous. It is a good feeling sometimes when he says, “It means you are worth being jealous over.” I don’t buy that I am all that, but he seems convinced that I am something special..
I’m going to wrap this post with a quote from a song I am quite fond of. “The past is gone, but something might be found to take it’s place, hey jealousy”
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

How to save a life

It’s a boring Sunday afternoon. The kids are busy playing and Chris is visiting his folks in Liberty. So I am left alone with my thoughts. There is something that has been weighing on my mind that I thought I would spend a few minutes writing about. Of course it’s the elephant in the room, my drug problem.
I was very honest with Chris about this from the get go. As a matter of a fact I believe I told him about it on our third date. It’s a sad but important chapter of my history and I felt he had a right to know before he got in too deep with me.
I’m coming up to my 1 year anniversary of being heroin-free, and I am proud of that. This is not to say that it ever gets any easier to abstain. I am reminded of a quote by Courtney Love of all people. “Heroin in Seattle falls like apples from the trees.” It’s the same here in Richmond, Indiana. It seems like ever since the economy started to fail and all the factories shuttered their doors the drugs began creeping in.
It’s really a vicious cycle. You have nothing so you use drugs so the nothingness doesn’t bother you so much. Then addiction gets a hold of your spirit and you wind up having less than what you began with. The hopelessness becomes coupled with apathy and your soul begins to die.
I have to be completely honest with you, I was extremely close to relapse just a couple of short months ago. I felt as if I had failed in every way possible as a human being. My life has been a long string of dissappointments and bad choices. Self pity consumed me for most of my waking hours and things that had brought me joy had lost all meaning. I guess you could say that I had a sub-conscious death wish.
Thank God for him, because he has taught me that people can be good to each other and truly care. This is the first time I have every been treated like a human by the opposite sex. Now I count my blessings daily and feel nothing but gratitude.
I am not cured, and I don’t think I ever will be. This is the bad news. The good news is that the cravings have gone from deafening screams to the softest whisper. I make it day by day with the love and support of my family. For now, I would like to think that’s good enough!
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

Someone make this image go away!

I had a visitor today, one that was quite unexpected. I love this girl to death, but in hindsight I wish she would have stayed gone…
Dear readers, you remember me talking about my neighbors from hell? Well there was an exception to this rule, Tess. When I first moved in she was a snotty little punk like most 16 year olds I have run across in my day. Then something happened that would change her forever, she discovered that she was pregnant.
Family support was hard to come by for this poor girl. Everyone was always wrapped up in their own problems and had no time for a scared child who had made a big mistake. I ended up playing the mother figure to her.
The beginning of her pregnancy she was still willful and quite frankly the most unready parent I had ever seen. I gave her the best advice I could and hoped some of it sank in. Then something amazing happened, she grew up. I guess a situation like the one she was in doesn’t hurt the maturity process, but I was still so happy for her. I knew it was going to be hard for her, but if anyone is tough enough to take it, it’s Tess.
Her pregnancy went really well and I found myself getting excited for the baby to arrive. Whenever the her family was getting to be too much she knew that all she had to do was walk next door. One morning Chris and I even took her to the hospital when she thought the time had come. It was only Braxton-Hicks, but if we only knew what was going to happen 2 weeks later I would have personally begged the doctor to do a C-section.
The Friday before Chris and I moved I had gone next door for some reason or other and Tess was sitting on the porch in silence. We asked her what was wrong. She said the baby had not moved since Wednesday and that she was going to go to the hospital. Needless to say this did not end well….
The baby had died. I guess he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times. Here is where it gets disturbing. The nurses took pictures of this poor baby who had been dead for three days before being delivered via C-section. Then Tess’s family printed the picture in the newspaper along with the obituary. I found this quite morbid to say the least, but who am I to judge what another person does to deal with grief?.
The kids had just arrived home today when there was a knock on the door. It was Tess. I tried to talk to her about what had happened but it seemed to me that she was in shock still. I mean, it’s only been 2 weeks. Then she asked me if I would like to see a picture of her son.
Every fiber of my being screamed NO, but looking in her eyes, I knew that I needed to look for her sake. She pulled a picture out of her purse and showed me. I won’t go into detail about what the baby looked like, but it had been dead for 5 days. Along with that came skin slippage, I’m sure you can imagine what happened when they tried to wipe off the baby post-delivery.
I hung in there though and made comments that I thought would be comforting. I spoke of how well shaped he was, and the size of his feet would have made him a basketball star for sure. The whole time I was saying these things, I couldn’t shake the image of a missing eyelid and the furrows down his cheek where a nurse with fake nails had pressed a bit to hard. I hope this was what she needed, but I wish she wouldn’t have showed me. The picture will haunt me until the day I die.
As some of you know I lost a child between Brayden and Allison. Her name was to be Jayla. At the time I was very upset of course as it was the abuse of my husband that made me lose her. In hindsight I can see the wheels of fate turning. If Jayla would have been born, there would never would have been an Allison. I pray that Tess can find this peace when she is older.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Drama with the sperm donor

Well kittykats, I am absolutely furious right now! Money is a wee bit tight right now with moving expenses, deposits, and the like. I got the brilliant idea to take our cans down to the recycling center. We pile em up pretty quick as I have traded my heroin habit for an energy drink habit. It’s only a few blocks away and I didn’t have much else to do. BIG mistake!
You see, Allison’s biological father works there. Usually I can go there uneventfully and not run into him, but not today. He was working the scales. I usually use initials or pseudonyms but in this case I don’t care. His name is Chad Hamilton and he is worthless.
I was perfectly pleasant to him, and let him know how Ally is doing. He just looked at me blankly. I brought up that she is getting older and eventually I’m gonna have to tell her the truth about her paternity. He actually had the balls to say he didn’t think he was her father. I might be able to understand his concern except for one little thing. We had a DNA test done when she was born (per his request) and the test said with 99.98% certainty that he was the father.
I have raised her by myself and done a hell of a job. All he has done is pay child support and that is not by choice, it comes out of his check. He has 4 other kids which is NOT my problem. I have never bothered him for anything and never took him to court to raise his child support. The thanks I get for this is pretty much being called a whore.
So what do I do in this situation? Allison looks at BP as her father, but he’s out of the picture now. It’s pretty obvious that Chad wants nothing to do with her. Is it kinder to just keep the truth to myself? How would it make Ally feel to know that her own father wants nothing to do with her? I have a million questions and no answers.
For now I guess I will stick with what I have been doing, not talking about daddies. Although my level of anger makes a trip to the “Maury” show to humiliate him sound appealing!
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

For my Crispy

Before you I was set adrift in a sea of the blackest sorrow. Waves of desperation crashed over my head. I had heard rumors of sugar white shores, but it was far beyond my vision.
Before you I thought that emotional pain was just a part of life. I thought that happiness was a myth set to TV and music. A method of control, a belief in hope slowly dimming.
Before you I only lived from one day to the next. I sought solace and numbness as I shuffled flat-footed toward death.
Before you I scratched clawhanded at any affirmation of self-worth. I traded crushing depression for a precious few seconds of what passed as joy.
Then you arrived….
Out of nowhere, when I expected you least…. You came crashing through my walls of self preservation, letting in light that I had no idea existed outside of my childhood dreams.
You saw beauty where others had seen nothing. You loved without restraint or shame. You pulled me ashore when I was mere seconds away from ruin. You held me in your arms and whispered in my ear, “I’ll never let go.”
I won’t either.

Another impasse

As you know kittykats there is one issue I feel more strongly than anything else. That is equality in all things. Particularly the rights of the LBGTA community. I feel like they should be afforded all of the same rights as us “straight” people. In the end it depends on what kind of person you are. As awesome as Chris is, we are at an impasse on the subject.
He can’t see how a child raised by same sex parents can end up un-screwed up. I don’t blame him, I blame a lack of exposure to the truth and a small town upbringing. At the same time, this is half of my life’s calling. All the angry e-mails and letters to congressman…what good are they if I cannot convince the man who shares my bed?!
He is accusing me of being one of the church people who is always trying to convert him. I argue with this as I think education is the key to everything. Why are people so reluctant to obtain knowledge? Statistics don’t lie!
So how do I reach his heart dear readers?!
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

The one man who could change my mind

Well dear readers, if you didn’t notice in the last post, I dumped my boyfriend’s alias. I was calling him Allan, but a good part of my followers have already met him. So what’s the point? His name is Chris and he is amazing. I absolutely have to devote one post to him, as I am giddy as a teenager. I promise after this I will try to keep your nausea to a minimum kittykats!
I’m not one to jump into the deep end about anything, particularly matters of the heart. I have had too much damage done in the past. I can’t quite put my finger on why Chris is so different, but from day one we just clicked.
My intelligence has threatened a lot of men I have dated in the past. This has been an issue for a big chunk of my life. I never mean to sound condescending. I use a lot of three dollar words when I talk, but that is my vocabulary, not me trying to belittle others. The last guy I was with hated it when I used words over three syllables. Chris is entirely different. He says my brain is a huge turn on and never gets offended by my speech. If he doesn’t understand me, he’ll just ask what a particular word means. It feels great to be able to just relax and not have a guy turn me into what he thinks I should be. I am able to fearlessly be myself with no apology necessary.
Those of you that know me on a personal level and not just the main character of this blog are aware about my feelings regarding marriage. I tried it twice and failed miserably, so I had given up on the institution altogether. You can imagine my shock last night when Chris kissed me, looked intently into my eyes and informed me, “I’m gonna marry your ass!” Perhaps it’s not the most romantic way to broach the subject and he doesn’t mean now of course, but oddly enough the idea didn’t make me uneasy.
We have a lot of obstacles we need to get through before this is even an option. My happiness right now has a nasty stormcloud hanging over it. I am referring to my court case of course. Even though BP is in prison he is still trying to ruin my life. I have been afraid that if the unthinkable happened I was going to lose Chris. I underestimated what an amazing guy he is. He does not plan on going anywhere, even if I do have to go away for a while. He always tells me that he is in for the long haul, and you know what? I believe him! There is no lie in his eyes, and he is one of the most level-headed guys I know. He is not one to lie EVER, not even a white lie to spare someone’s feelings. That level of honesty can at times hurt me, but at the same time I know he isn’t lying about the major things either.
So I guess it’s time to wait and see. I never thought I would ever say this, but he is the one man who could change my mind about marriage. Maybe the third time is the charm, and plus Jamie Martin kind of has a nice ring to it! Check back with me in a couple years and we’ll see if he actually did change my mind.
As always thanks for listening and God bless!

The one conversation you should NEVER have!

Well kittykats, it was due, I guess. Nothing is perfect forever, as much as I wish that it was. I think we have had our first official fight, albeit a quiet one. I would rather be yelled at right now, the silence is crushing me.
You see he brought up the one conversation that a couple should never EVER have, the numbers game. You guys know what I mean, “How many people were you with before me?” I am firmly against talking about this. As long as you are disease free and in one piece, does it really matter? Not to me it doesn’t.
I put off answering as long as I could until I finally just got annoyed and blurted it out. Apparently I am a bit ahead of him which I don’t think is too terrible, considering I am 7 years older than him. For some reason this bothers him a LOT.
I can’t wrap my brain about this. He works daily with the guy I slept with for 6 months before we got together and this doesn’t bother him. So why do nameless, faceless strangers hurt him? He mentioned something about never being my first anything. Well sweetie, that ship sailed long ago, I AM 33 years old. I am not exactly virgin territory.
I am upset right now, but I think this is just a little hiccup brought on by exhaustion and a wee buzz. He is asleep next to me now, hopefully the dawn will bring a bit more rationality.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

He grew up in a heartbeat

Well I take to keyboard right now with shaky hands dear readers. Brayden got off the bus today from his first day of school and tripped me out badly.
I am proud to say that I have raised a great son. He is funny, articulate and polite. I’m not entirely sure how I accomplished this without a male role model, but I’ll take it. He is just now in the 2nd grade although he is almost 9. I held him back for an extra year of preschool, because frankly he was not ready, and he repeated kindergarten. He is in good shape now!
He got off the bus today, and I asked him if he had made any new friends his first day. He said, “Kinda, I have a girlfriend now.” It was all very matter of a fact. Me? I believe I had an aneurysm!
Apparently a little mixed girl (with “pretty hair”) named Tatyana ran up to my son during recess, kissed him on the cheek, and informed him that he was her boyfriend. I guess Brayden agreed to her terms, because he informed me, “If anybody messes with her I’ll take ‘em out!”
I have so many mixed emotions about this kittykats! On one hand I am a little bit proud that my son is so valiant. A man should stick up for a woman if you need it. It took me 33 years to find one who did! It gives me faith that I am raising a good man. Then again he is still a little boy to me, and it’s hard to come to terms with the fact he is halfway to 18.
As all these emotions coursed through my body, I remembered something. I was 9 when I had my first “boyfriend” His name was Jerremy and we played basketball at recess for two weeks. Then I decided that Chris Drake was cuter, but I digress… I turned out fine, and I reckon he will too!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless

You CAN go home again

Well kittykats I went to my high school reunion tonight. I went back and forth in my head whether or not I wanted to actually go for the longest time. Everytime I thought about seeing everyone, it’s as if I was a geeky knock-kneed 15 year old again. This is a strange thing to me. Nowadays I have plenty of confidence to spare.
Finally an hour before it was due to start I told Chris that I wanted to go. He was a wee bit annoyed since I had changed my mind about 800 times in the last week about it. He grumbled for a little while but before I knew it we were on the road to Hagerstown.
I think I drove him half batshit on the way there. I kept asking him if I looked OK, if I was pretty etc. He humored me even though I am sure he was exasperated! Before I knew it I was looking upon my hometown.
Hagerstown is one of those places that seems frozen in time. It IS a pretty little town, almost Rockwellian. Of course there have been a few changes in the last 15 years, but small towns such as this are reluctant to change too much. Therein lies their charm. I hated this when I was a kid and it was the most boring place on earth to me. As an adult I see things differently. I am a city girl at heart, but at the same time the quiet and slow pace are appealing.
We got to the reunion and I froze up a bit in the parking lot, but Chris assured me that it would be fine. I jumped out of the Jeep, plastered a smile on my face, and grabbed his hand in a vice grip. Now here is the strangest part.
I had a really good time! I was happy to see everyone, even the people I didn’t really talk to too much. The years have mellowed people out a lot, and past hurts did not seem to matter. I even talked to my former arch-nemesis (her words not mine) and was reminded of getting into a fistfight with her in front of my mom’s house. I had forgotten, but it brought a big laugh all these years later.
Chris seemed to enjoy himself too, as much as someone who didn’t know a soul could at least. He spent most of the time talking to the husbands and boyfriends of my classmates. My friends were very impressed by him. I’m not sure how to take it, but my friends always seem a bit surprised that I landed a man like him. Perhaps I should be offended by this, but I am more grateful than anything.
We didn’t stay for the whole thing, we jetted after the first band was done playing. It was late and we were both tired. I think that this did wonders for me psychologically. It might sound lame, but I had still held on to a lot of bitterness from those days. Tonight I was able to let go of it and look back fondly on those years. HHS class of 1995-I love you guys! You will always be my old, dear friends!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Home at last!

I am sneaking in a few minutes for writing, although I have about a million things to do. We are offline right now. The house we have is great, but there is one problem. It has never been wired for cable before. They want $150 deposit, as if it’s my fault the previous owners lived in the bronze age. So no internet until Friday at the earliest.
It was a busy weekend. The guys worked so hard. I felt guilty for not lugging stuff like I usually do. Allan and WM told me just to point and say, “Move it to this room.” My moving experiences in the past have been quite different. I just can’t get used to having a real man. I spent so many years putting up with BP it’s a shock to the system to have someone take care of me rather than vice versa.
In other news, the kids started school today. Allison is in the first grade and Brayden is in the 2nd. I have no idea where the time went, but it kind of sucks that they don’t need me like they used to. There was a battle this morning when I insisted on walking them to the bus stop. Brayden is going to be 9 on the 28th and I probably should have seen this coming. He said he would look like a baby if I went with him. I guess he is right. It is only 2 blocks away and he only has to cross one street. I was tear-assing around Hagerstown alone when I was 7, but it’s a different world now, dear readers! Am I wrong in this?
Well kittykats, time to peel myself away from the devil box and try to get the new crib up and running. I am going to attempt to hook up the washer and dryer. This should be funny. It’s like Allan says, I am the brains of the operation. I can discuss literature and politics for hours and I can speak 6 languages, but when it comes to practical day to day things, I am functionally retarded.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!