In case you haven't noticed by this point, I am very concerned about what everyone thinks of me. This is less of an exercise in bravery and honesty than a cry for someone to tell me that I am still a decent person.
I made a dumb mistake last week. I decided that there was something worth salvaging in my relationship. Stupid, huh? But I am a human being and a girl. I tend to fall for beautiful words. The whole time these words were spilling out of his mouth, he was sleeping with someone who I considered a friend.
I never thought that there was a switch that could shut it all off instantly, but that did it.
Having a hard time believing me? I don't blame you. I have said this enough times. But let's be honest and a little crass. You go into another woman after me, there will be no more me. Ever again. Call me old-fashioned, but I consider that sacred. Infidelity is unforgivable to me.
I was starting to move on before this, before my little stutter of insanity. I have someone that I like. I am capable of finding love again. And if I don't, I am starting to be OK with being alone. I pay my bills with a little left over. I have gone from nothing post-prison to having a house full of stuff that is mine and mine alone. That is some serious progress. Remember Jamie, remember.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!