Saturday, September 13, 2014

When Harry Hated Sally

Haven't wrote for awhile. Been in a bit of a tailspin. There is a good reason for this.
It's over.
Yeah, yeah, I know that it was officially over back in May, but I guess both of us held out hope that there was some way to salvage things. 
I swear, I have never seen anything like it. If we were just texting or something, everything was OK. But it seemed like we couldn't be together for more than an hour without one of us getting pissed off at the other.
Is this a dead giveaway that we are not right for each other? Of course it is. Does this make me grieve any less for what was supposed to be? Hell no.
I was supposed to have the barefoot wedding in the woods, the comical last name, and my best friend of 20 years to be the man I woke up next to every morning.
I wake up alone. And still on the left side of the bed. I can't bear to move to the middle. Sometimes the movie ending is not the way things turn out.
Sometimes you say things you can't take back. These are the wounds that never heal. Allowing for no second chances without the faint echo of it in the back of your minds. That is not good for anyone involved.
Love turned to hate. It happens.
My clever 'cat lady' posts are a cover for the real fear that I will never find anyone again. But I guess I have felt like that before, nothing new.
Who knows what's around the corner? I might actually have a first kiss again. Or God willing I will learn to be happy with my own company. Until then I will keep my mind on my kids, my job, and my friends. I am blessed with so much. 
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

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