Saturday, May 31, 2014

Reboot

I know I said that I use this blog as a crutch. I thought this was a bad thing. But I am realizing that sometimes you just can't walk on your own. Sometimes you NEED a crutch. So here I am.
In so many ways life has gotten so much better. I have my children back, I have good friends who love me, and a great job that I love. But no one is perfect, no matter how hard we try to portray ourselves as such. I am still clean, no worries there.
I am currently ending a relationship that I swore would be forever. Yeah, I know you guys have heard that before, but this time I really thought it would be. I fell in love with my best friend of 20 years and was supposed to have my 'When Harry Met Sally' happily ever after, but life doesn't always work out like the movies.
It is hard to place blame when you are partially to blame as well. I am a mouthy kind of person. I have very strong opinions about how I want to live my life and won't take any crap. There is a line that must be drawn at some point. I will not go into too many specifics at this point, but my friends already know.
My question is this: How do you let go of the life and future you have built in your mind? How do you just shut off your feelings? Even when you know it's the right thing to do? And how do you move on when you have no idea where you are going?
So many questions swirling around in my already tangled mind. I am going to try to work them out a little here. I credit my blog and my readers for keeping me on track. Perhaps it will work for me again?
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!