Saturday, May 28, 2011


This is going to be a quick one, but thought I should update you guys. Chris and I have made up our minds. I am going to sign the plea.

There is a tiny chance I could beat this case if I took it to trial, but I am unwilling to take that risk. In 3 years Allison will be almost 10, Brayden will be almost 13, not to mention I can't ask Chris to wait for me for triple the time we have been together. It wouldn't be fair to him.

Not sure when I have to go yet, but it might be as soon as Wednesday. Something occurred to me the other day. My lawyer said my plea deadline was extended to June 2nd, but said I had to let him know what I wanted to do by Tuesday (June 1st.) So this has me worrying that my actual plea and sentencing will be in 5 days.

I won't lie to you and say I am not scared shitless. I am not built for incarceration. I feel like I was put on this earth to help other people and maybe help them laugh when times get too tough. I am a lover, not a fighter. I talk as if I am tough, but really I feel like a frightened litlle girl. The uncertainty of what is going to happen is killing me.

I want to take a moment to welcome my new readers from twitter and favstar. I took a while to share this blog with you guys, but there are two sides to jamieramone. This is my serious one.

As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Should I stay or should I go

Just got back from court again, and I'm kind of relieved with how it turned out.
Nope, not THAT great of news. I still have the charge pending against me. What happened is that they extended my plea deadline until next Tuesday.

In a nutshell for you non-criminal readers: They are giving me the opportunity to take the plea bargain that I turned down before. I was offered 20 months, which in Indiana is actually 10 months with credit for good behavior. As long as I don't beat up a guard or shank someone, that shouldn't be a problem. When I am released I will be free and clear from the legal system, no probation. I will also be a felon, but I am unsure I could avoid conviction.

If I was to be acquitted, it would hinge on my ex-husband. He would have to testify in open court that I had no idea the guitar was stolen. This is the truth, but I don't think BP would do it for 2 reasons.
1-I left him and got with Crispy, I have a feeling he might just be a wee bit upset about that. I know for a fact he resents that my kids call Crispy dad, though he should be thanking him for taking such good care of his kids.
2-If he testifies, the charge I am facing would go on him, and with his criminal record he would be facing some hefty jail time. With him getting out in August after serving nearly 2 years, I imagine he is not eager to spend any more time locked up. Plus honesty has never been his strongest trait.

So I am thinking about just going ahead and taking the plea. Though I know I am innocent, BP is the only one who can exonerate me. I'm going to have a long talk with Crispy tonight. I want us to make this decision together.

Good news is, I bought myself at least another month and a half of freedom. It might sound silly, but I am going to have more time to make more memories. The kids have one more week of school left and then we get them all to ourselves. Also Crispy's sister is getting married June 11th. Crispy is going to be an usher and has to wear a tux. The thought of seeing him dressed up like that makes my heart go pitter-patter.

As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I can't watch this anymore

I think I would die of shock if I had a normal day. I feel like I'm about to have a stroke.
Well the sister/bff V came over today. Her boyfriend had to meet with his parents and she didn't want to sit at home alone with her thoughts. So she showed up here at about noon. I honestly didn't want company, but I find it really hard to turn away a person who is in need of a friend, to the detriment of my mental health.
She was wired as hell and talking a mile a minute so it was instantly obvious she was on something. I asked her and she admitted to doing a half of a Suboxone. She offered me the other half, and I'm proud to say that even though I have had a killer headache all day. She was impressed that I could turn it down, I told her if she quit, one day she too could say no. She thinks Suboxone is better than heroin, but it's all the same to me.
I had a busy day planned, catching up laundry and putting up our winter clothes for the season. I got everything done, but with her trailing me the entire time. I was annoyed, but her boyfriend was supposed to pick her up within an hour or two. He didn't show up until 4:30, then all hell broke loose....
He informed her that he had to leave for rehab in Kentucky the following morning or he was going to lose his kids. This is the only place she has to stay, so I am sure you can imagine her reaction.
She began pacing up and down my block yelling. She got her clothes out of his truck and threw them on my porch yelling, "Take these, I don't need them since I am homeless!"
I asked her boyfriend to please take her away because the neighbors were staring. Crispy and I are quiet neighborly folks and I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
I went to my next door neighbors house to call her mom, because frankly I was scared for her and didn't want to make the same mistake twice. After I explained to her what had transpired I went back home.
She had come back and was leaning against my wall sobbing. I told her I didn't want her to hurt herself and she informed me that she had nothing to live for and was going to kill herself. Of course being the sister of someone who committed suicide, I went straight through the roof.
I told her that she was a selfish bitch and needed to think of her kids. I pretty much read her down. She started talking about how she was never going to get her girls back if she had nowhere to stay. Hint hint right?
I told her that I was sorry about her predicament, but there was nothing I could do to help. Last time we tried to help she was here for all of a day and a half before she had stolen off us. Crispy would never allow it, and frankly neither would I. She started weeping again and her boyfriend pulled back up to the house, she went outside and started melting down again. I told her boyfriend to get her ass in the truck and take her to her parent's house. She refused and just walked down the street freaking out. He kept his truck next to her and the last I saw they were creeping up Sixth street.
I have tried everything I can to help. I was given many 2nd chances when I was a mess, so I always use that as an excuse to be everyone's savior. No more.
My head is pounding right now and I'm all shaky. I have plenty of stress of my own don't I? I can't watch this anymore. I wish her the best, but this was the last straw.
As always, thanks for listening, and God bless!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Random and hard days

Well last time we spoke I was getting ready to go to jail. I feel as if I have lived a lifetime since.....
To start, for those of you that missed the news, I turned down the plea. I had every intention of going to jail. Then my lawyer told me when I was waiting outside the courtroom that I would have to swear under oath that I was fully aware that the item I pawned was in fact stolen. I thought about it and decided I did not want to commit perjury. I am taking a huge risk here, but I honestly believe I am innocent. The Rude Girl Nation has stepped up with legal referrals and advice, so fingers crossed. My next pretrial is next Friday. As of now my trial is set for June 20th, the day before my birthday.
Second, my bff and the girl I consider my sister V almost died. A couple of hours before I was due to leave for court I was just cuddling with Crispy. Suddenly there was all kinds of racket downstairs. V had busted into the house screaming "THOMAS IS DEAD!" I was frankly startled as I had no idea who Thomas is. She ran out of the house abruptly as she had come in. I should have noticed something was badly wrong, but you know what I did? I immediately filed it under random shit and started making jokes about it on twitter and my private fb group. I was getting ready to find out what an asshole I am.
I messaged her mom and brother after a while once I started to get scared about her state of mind. Later that night I found out she was in the psych ward.
She had been on the "bath salt" This is a drug I had never heard of that they sell at gas stations. You are supposed to bathe with it but people smoke, shoot, and snort this.
After she showed up at my house she ended up at her mom and dad's house. Long story short she ended up attacking her mother and attempted to claw her eyes out.
This bath salt thing scares the shit out of me. I mean Allison can go to our local Sunoco and buy it legally and she is 6. From my internet research it apparently causes paranoia, delusions, and self harm. It has similar effects to Meth. Please educate yourselves guys!
Yesterday V showed up at my door about 20 lbs lighter than the last time I saw her, when I kicked her out for stealing my debit card. She had shaved her head a la Britney, and quite frankly looked like she had just walked outta a concentration camp. I hope she will get better, but her boyfriend this week is an addict too. I tried to tell her it is next to impossible to get clean while in a relationship with an addict. I am pretty sure she didn't hear a word I said.
I am trying to get over the guilt I have about this whole sad situation. My first move was to laugh about it, but perhaps if I would have acted when she showed up at my house things would have turned out better. I should have called someone. I know you can only get better when you want to, but she has lost so much, and I can see so much of myself in that! Her kids are now wards of the state, and I think this is the best thing for them now. They are staying with their grandparents, so I can breathe a sigh of relief about that.
Lastly, we must do a copy and paste of the message I got via fb earlier. I message my ex every now and then to get updates on how my oldest daughter is doing. If you are new here, I have not seen her for 6 years, see earlier posts. I got this message from his 2nd wife....
Tracy Metzger Lipscomb

You may contact Hayley on May 2, 2017 when she turns 18, until then, if you do, we will contact an attorney and get a restraining order. Then, I will file for legal custody. After 7 years of raising her, I'm sure that won't be a problem. Lee agrees with me 100%.
So I am kind of a wreck about this, this was my response.....
I have no desire to interrupt her life. I am grateful for the job you have done as a mother when I wasn't able to be one. I know it is awkward to hear from me, but I do not want to contact her and disrupt her life. All I am asking for is an occasional update on how she is doing. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, but I AM her mother. There is no reason for this to get any uglier than it already is. The circumstances worked against us. If Lee recalls when I lost touch, my other daughter was in Riley on life support and Brayden was in the worst of his autism. I have no bad feelings toward you Tracy. I am so glad Lee has found someone to make him happy, he is a terrific guy. I was just young and immature and we were not right for each other. All I want is to know how my daughter is doing, let's not be ugly OK?
No response back. Since I am 100% honest on here I must tell you I try to think about her as little as possible. It is too painful and I will drive myself nuts thinking about I could have done differently. I just try to do the best I can with Ally and Brayden and try not to flog myself too much about what I can't control. My relationship with my mom gives me hope. Maybe someday Hayley will look at things like I do now with my mom. This is my deepest wish. I miss her so much.
OK kittykats, this post has utterly drained me.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Goodbye my kittykats!

This is probably going to be the last post I make for roughly a year. Day after tomorrow at 10 AM is zero hour.
I am surprisingly calm considering the circumstances. I have moments of panic from time to time, and Saturday night I became a sobbing mess in Chris's arms but overall I am coping.
Chris is as ready as he is ever going to be for single fatherhood. We have everything figured out as far as finances and childcare go, I just hope he doesn't feed the kids Hot Pockets and Pizza Rolls everyday lol! He will be fine, he has a hell of a support system! His folks have offered to pitch in. I know he can call my mom if he panics. Even BP's family is offering to help if he needs a break or to catch up housework. Knowing this gives me so much peace!
So now I want to run down a quick thank you list for some people I will miss the most!
1-Crispy of course. This has been the happiest year of my life, and the sacrifices you are getting ready to make?! I am humbled! Considering how happy we are now, can you imagine what it will be like once this isn't hanging over our heads? Let's get this over with and FINALLY get our lives started! I love you more than all the stars in the sky, all the fishies in the sea, and the hairs on Ron Jeremy's chest!
2- My amazing Facebook friends! You guys make me all kinds of happy everytime you click like! Thanks for the validation!
3- My mom Lise who has helped me through some very tough spots and took care of me when I was losing it! Don't worry mom, your kid is a tough bitch!
4- My Mean Girls, the coolest, funniest bunch of homos ever! Our Facebook group has made me laugh, cry, and vomit! Remember I am STILL HBIC, even through a foot of concrete!
5- My twits on Favstar-there is something BADLY wrong with all of us, thanks for the stars! Remember, 1 star on favstar=20 likes on Facebook :)
6- My next door neighbor Patrick who will have Crispy's back and never complains when we borrow shit.
7- My ex-husband's family for accepting my decisions and only wanting what is best for my kids.
8- I can't believe I am saying this but... Thanks to Brandon. You were a Goddamn nightmare to date, but you led me to my soul mate. I regret nothing!
9- Last but not least all of my blog followers. You guys listened to me, offered help when I needed it and kept me going! (now at 19 months clean!)
In closing, I am going to enclose my address I will be at to start. Any letters would be welcome, this is going to be a tough transition! Just be sure you put a return address on the envelope or I won't get it!
Jamie Petitt
200 E Main St
Richmond, IN 47374
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Vacation time!

Well kittykats, one week from today the state of Indiana is going to own my ass. The good news is that I'm not freaking out like I could be.
My Crispy is on vacation so we can spend as much time together as possible. So far it has been great. We get to cuddle as much as we want (among other things ;) ), go do things when it's actually daylight outside, and create some memories for me to hold onto.
His sister is getting married June 11th and I was invited. So Crispy had the unenviable task of telling his mom why I can't attend. She took it surprisingly well once he explained the circumstances.
We were planning on going camping, but the weather doesn't look like it's gonna cooperate. Instead we are going to go pick up some fishing poles for the kids and go try to catch something. I love fishing but haven't been in years, and Allison never has. It should be really fun!
We have everything figured out for when I'm gone. The kids will be going to the Boy's and Girl's club while he works through the week. Then on Saturdays they will spend the day at their grandma's while Chris works his half day. This will also give him time to catch up on laundry etc.
He is a little scared at the prospect of single fatherhood, but I have every confidence he will do just great! If I had any doubts I sure as hell wouldn't leave my kids with him.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!