Monday, July 21, 2014

I Am NOT In a Lifetime Movie!

This is not going to be my most popular post. In fact, some of you may be questioning my sanity by the end of it. But this is my road to travel, and only I know the truth that lies in my heart.
I am not going to go into the full story, my true friends know it. There is some dirty laundry that not even I will air. But my boyfriend and I split up 3 months ago, just shy of our 2 year anniversary. It was UGLY. A lot of hurt involved. Some things happened that most people would consider unforgivable. I would have said the same thing if any of my friends were in the same situation. Things always look different when you are actually living them, though.
After the 'incident' he went straight to Centerstone and went into counselling. He has stuck with it the whole time and seems to be improving.
So, I am letting him...VERY SLOWLY....back into my life. There are some people that you know are worth fighting for.
I used to be one of those people. I was a lying, thieving junkie. I woke up at 6 AM and immediately started chugging vodka. You know what helped me? People reminding me that I am worth something. And never, ever giving up on me. If you had given up on me, I can almost guarantee I would be dead or back in prison by now.
So I am going to show the same kindness that I have been shown countless times. The greatest kindness there is. The benefit of the doubt. If it works out, I am thrilled! If not, I have proven to myself that I can stand alone and I will not hesitate to do so.
But the truth at the end of the day is this: I am in love with my best friend of 20 years. Through all of this, that has not changed. I have not even looked crossways at another guy since the split. Never even crossed my mind. I want to help him get back to the good man I know he is, without sacrificing my soul in the process. And you know what? I think it's possible.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

1 comment:

  1. I do not know what I should say.
    I am "that guy".
    My issues cost me the most important relationship of my life.
    I did detox, rehab.
    She started seeing someone.
    I gave up.
    Attempted suicide.
    She still owns me.
    She never gave me a chance after I returned.

    Maybe let him in slowly.
    Let him know---
    "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness" and take it a day at a time.

    One guys opinion.