Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Quick Hello To My Kittykats!

Well since I last left you guys, I have been in 4 different correctional facilities, lost the love of my life, attempted to reconcile with BP & failed, and basically lived a lifetime in six short months. But you know what.....


It's going to take me a while to process everything that has happened as I am sure you can understand dear readers. I will hit the major points briefly though.

I am still clean from heroin. It's been 2 years 2 months now and I'm quite proud! It's not easy here in Indy. It seems like there is a dope boy on every corner. Even with all the stress and pressure on me I am hanging in there.

I am in counseling and hitting 12 step meetings regularly. I discovered that a lot of my issues stem from being so codependant. So I am working to address that. My New Year's resolution is to learn to love myself and not depend on others for my self worth. I have tied my self esteem to men for FAR too long.

I am in work release in Indianapolis. Not too much luck yet due to being a felon, but still hitting the pavement.

Chris dumped me. Well, he got mad at me on the phone and just stopped speaking to me after all the time we spent together. I was worried that something had happened to him until someone wrote to me and told me that he had changed his status on Facebook from engaged to me to in a relationship with someone else. So no closure and a shattered heart that I haven't begun to heal.

BP the estranged husband is engaged to someone else and not spending any time with our children. I like an idiot thought about giving him another shot before this transpired. Then he vanished and emerged "in love" with someone else. I am sensing a pattern here.

My logical mind knows that these men are no good and that I can do better. I just need someone to tell my emotional heart the same.

Regardless I am still here. If there is one thing I have learned on this road, it's that I can handle anything life throws at me and be stronger for it. It hurts like hell now and I am scared to death to start over with nothing, but I'm sure I'll make it!

Like I said this is a Cliff Notes version of recent events but I will expand on my adventures in incarceration as I have time. Thanks for your continuing love and support! As always, thanks for listening and God bless!