Yesterday was a very long day for me, but I stayed strong.
I'm in the middle of a really bad depression right now and I don't see any end in sight. I feel like my life is missing something, but what it is I can't put my finger on. I should be happy. I'm dirt poor, but I get by. I have amazing kids who mean the world to me. I have friends who truly care about me. So what is my problem?
I never had much time for self examination when I was strung out. This is one of the dangers of being clean, you think entirely too much. Once the kids are in bed that is all I have to do. I try to distract myself by reading, watching TV, and spending WAY too much time on facebook. It works for a while but once it's time to go to bed my mind just starts going into overdrive. I think about every mistake I've ever made and start the self hating. What is the secret to loving yourself? Hell I would settle with LIKING myself. You guys have read my history so I'm sure you can see why I have a hard time with this!
On the positive side, today I have been off heroin for five months, and for that I am grateful! Here's to making it 5 months and 1 day!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!