The Ostrich Method

I have been trying out a new form of rehab that I have dubbed "The Ostrich Method."
Whenever I feel temptation creeping up on me I just put myself on self imposed lockdown and hope that will be enough.
I have considered going back to AA/NA meetings but I can't bring myself to walk the 20 feet across the streets to actually attend one. For someone who is so outgoing I have the worst time at these meetings. It's a combination of shame for every relapse and reluctance to admit I let my problem go as far as it did. It's easy for me to type about it but actually speaking the words is another creature entirely!
I know that most of the people at the meetings have secrets that are more shameful than mine, but it doesn't make mine any easier to carry. There is a meeting tonight so I think I'm just gonna suck it up and walk my happy ass over to the 228 club! It did help the last time I had a good stretch going. I hope it will again!
On a happier note two of my bffs from high school are throwing me a birthday party next Saturday night. Being the eternal pessimist that I am, I am a little bit afraid that no one will show up. After all I am the girl who was stood up for her junior prom! Even if it is just Christina, Wendy, and I sitting alone at a table, it will still be the best time I have had in forever. I miss my girls!!!
Next post: Figuring out how to date again after all these years!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!