I had a visitor today, one that was quite unexpected. I love this girl to death, but in hindsight I wish she would have stayed gone…
Dear readers, you remember me talking about my neighbors from hell? Well there was an exception to this rule, Tess. When I first moved in she was a snotty little punk like most 16 year olds I have run across in my day. Then something happened that would change her forever, she discovered that she was pregnant.
Family support was hard to come by for this poor girl. Everyone was always wrapped up in their own problems and had no time for a scared child who had made a big mistake. I ended up playing the mother figure to her.
The beginning of her pregnancy she was still willful and quite frankly the most unready parent I had ever seen. I gave her the best advice I could and hoped some of it sank in. Then something amazing happened, she grew up. I guess a situation like the one she was in doesn’t hurt the maturity process, but I was still so happy for her. I knew it was going to be hard for her, but if anyone is tough enough to take it, it’s Tess.
Her pregnancy went really well and I found myself getting excited for the baby to arrive. Whenever the her family was getting to be too much she knew that all she had to do was walk next door. One morning Chris and I even took her to the hospital when she thought the time had come. It was only Braxton-Hicks, but if we only knew what was going to happen 2 weeks later I would have personally begged the doctor to do a C-section.
The Friday before Chris and I moved I had gone next door for some reason or other and Tess was sitting on the porch in silence. We asked her what was wrong. She said the baby had not moved since Wednesday and that she was going to go to the hospital. Needless to say this did not end well….
The baby had died. I guess he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times. Here is where it gets disturbing. The nurses took pictures of this poor baby who had been dead for three days before being delivered via C-section. Then Tess’s family printed the picture in the newspaper along with the obituary. I found this quite morbid to say the least, but who am I to judge what another person does to deal with grief?.
The kids had just arrived home today when there was a knock on the door. It was Tess. I tried to talk to her about what had happened but it seemed to me that she was in shock still. I mean, it’s only been 2 weeks. Then she asked me if I would like to see a picture of her son.
Every fiber of my being screamed NO, but looking in her eyes, I knew that I needed to look for her sake. She pulled a picture out of her purse and showed me. I won’t go into detail about what the baby looked like, but it had been dead for 5 days. Along with that came skin slippage, I’m sure you can imagine what happened when they tried to wipe off the baby post-delivery.
I hung in there though and made comments that I thought would be comforting. I spoke of how well shaped he was, and the size of his feet would have made him a basketball star for sure. The whole time I was saying these things, I couldn’t shake the image of a missing eyelid and the furrows down his cheek where a nurse with fake nails had pressed a bit to hard. I hope this was what she needed, but I wish she wouldn’t have showed me. The picture will haunt me until the day I die.
As some of you know I lost a child between Brayden and Allison. Her name was to be Jayla. At the time I was very upset of course as it was the abuse of my husband that made me lose her. In hindsight I can see the wheels of fate turning. If Jayla would have been born, there would never would have been an Allison. I pray that Tess can find this peace when she is older.
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!