Thursday, April 7, 2011

A taste of my own medicine

Well I had a painful awakening the other day! I realized how much my attitude might be hurting others.
I have this friend I have known forever, DH. Our parents were bffs, we used to take baths together, all that fun stuff! We grew up together in Hagerstown and we were misfits together. We lost touch for awhile in our early 20s, but reconnected when I ran into him here in Richmond. He was for all intensive purposes homeless, so I lent him our couch whenever he needed it. He drank a bit but beyond that he was pretty in control last time I checked.
We lost touch again when I moved to South Carolina for JK. I hadn't heard anything out of him for about 3 years. Then one night I saw him on Facebook, commenting on a mutual friend's status. I immediately sent a friend request as I wanted to see how he was. This is the response I got from him via fb message....
"I have gotten my life together and I heard through the grapevine that you have a heroin problem. I can't be around that. Good luck!"
At first I was just pissed until it started to sink in....
I have been clean for a year and a half, but how would he know that? Junkies are the best liars on earth, how was he to know I was not shooting up whilst making said friend request? He couldn't!
Of course you know how my mind works, always running in circles! It made me wonder how many of my old friends I have been unjustifiably suspicious of! How many people have I ignored for fear of temptation when they are just as clean as I am? It pains me to realize that I have made countless people unhappy with my judgements!
So what do I do, next time an old "friend" contacts me, do I give them the benefit of the doubt? Or would this be too risky for my sobriety? As usual, no easy answers...
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

No comments:

Post a Comment