Monday, April 11, 2011

How's it gonna be?

Last night I could not fall asleep, as per usual. I was thinking about the gnarly mess that is my romantic life.
BP gets out in August. We are still legally married, although he has been in prison for nearly two years. I guess this will sound insane and lazy, but I just never got around to it. I haven't felt married for a very long time so it didn't seem like I was. At the beginning of his incarceration I was kind of hedging my bets by not filing. I was new to the dating thing, a very scary thing after ten years!
After my first attempt with Stupid, I felt kind of relieved that I hadn't done it. I figured I at least had BP to fall back on. Even though I was terribly miserable, he was familiar and I am NOT good at being alone. Then along comes Chris....
He is utterly terrified that once BP gets out I am going to go back to him. I can't see that ever happening. Looking through Chris's eyes, I guess if the shoe was on the other foot I would be concerned too. Ten years is a hell of a thing.
What scares me the most is how BP and Chris are going to react to each other. Chris has a wee bit of a temper and he is a big, muscular farmboy. All BP has to do is say one thing wrong and Chris will pounce and destroy him. The worst part is, I will be in jail when this goes down.
I tell Chris we need to all get along. Like it or not BP is Brayden's father and not going anywhere. If anyone has any suggestions on negotiating this minefield, I would welcome it!
As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

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