Friday, March 19, 2010

How can someone get in trouble in a town of 2000 people?!

Well in my last post we got through high school and Muncie years. Guess that brings me back to Hagerstown again
Excuse me here because this time was a bit fuzzy. My mom took me back in when I was near death from living on the streets. It was not exactly a happy reunion. Although we were close in later years, we both made a LOT of mistakes during earlier years.
I did very well the first month. I was totally sober, probably because I couldn't FIND anything in Hagerstown. I had a crap job at precision wire that I HATED, but I went. I stayed to myself. Then one day I ran into JM a "friend" from HS. He asked me to hang out and next thing I knew I was back w/ the old skater crowd I hung on the edges of in school. It was SO nice to feel like I belonged. You see when I got back home I looked like an alien to the good folks of small town USA. My uniform was a black punk t, red plaid skirt, ripped fishnets, and combat boots. I used to walk around town like that, and any of you from there can imagine the reaction in 1996! All of the sudden The skaters thought I was hot. We started smoking weed, and I thought "Weed's not bad" But do you really think it ended there? HA!
The gang used to go to our friend CP's house in New Castle and that's when the acid abuse started again. It was a calm night if I only did 5 hits. I still had my connection in Muncie and everyone LOVED that. I felt like the Belle of the fuck-up ball. I even began dating the guy I had had a desperate crush on since I was 15. Those times were still managable. I was making plenty of money selling acid. It was a weird feeling going out to this guy's house by New Castle (you know the type, 20 something and partying with kids) and selling acid to all the asshole jocks who used to torture me. NOW I was someone.
Eventually I got sick of eating acid and decided in my infinite wisdom "I can drink, better than acid!" That's when it gets blurry. The events (I believe they are in order but who knows)
1.) Mom gets sick of me staying out till all hours with my "loser friends" and throws me out
2.) I move in with a lunatic from work who WAS SCHIZO
4.) Schizo roomate throws me out
3.) I end up stranded in Muncie with my boyfriend after a 2 week nostalgia drunk and end up getting clean at my old English teacher's house
4.) Harold gives us a ride to my mom's
5.) Boyfriend dumped me (the first break up of what would be MANY over the years)
This began sobriety #2! I was GONNA do it this time. I wasn't a weak little bitch, I could hang! So I got a telemarketing job in Richmond selling mortgages and moved into a shelter till I got my 1st check.
I was good at my job and made a couple great checks. I was able to afford my very own place for the first time, no roommates. I started to buy furniture and make plans. I think I'll leave my next downfall for my next post. Once again thanks for listening and God bless!

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