Sunday, March 28, 2010

Home again

Well after that 3 day Greyhound ride, Richmond looked like the Garden of Eden to me. After I called V I headed back to her house.
Her parent took me in AGAIN! I told them it was to be temporary as Tiny would be there in about 2 days and then we would get our own place. I was sober and determined to stay that way. I wanted a fresh start all around!
So began the waiting....
I showed up at Phillip's every day, hoping to see him step off the bus. Every day he did not. I went from excitement to the deepest depression you could imagine. Not only had he broke my heart and stood me up, he also had all the money I had saved.
There I was broke and alone. DA's folks were so sweet and supportive. They let me move into the basement so I could have my own space. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but thank God they were there.
V helped me get over Tiny the best she could, but it would be 5 years before I got over it.
So we come to the next chapter of abusing my body....
V and I used to hang out at this crappy pool hall down the street called Hartman's. I would sit there looking pissed off while V flirted up a storm and danced with her pool cue. I wish I had that much confidence. I envied her.
I met this guy SM who lived in the apartment above the pool hall. Good God he was ugly, inside and out, but I was desperate at that point.
Him and his friends were way into coke. Snorting, foilies, the whole nine yards. I was nervous as I had never touched anything that hard before. Once you cross a line it gets easier and easier to cross it again. Soon I was over there every night getting high.
SM was horrible to me. He treated me like a dog and told his buddies EVERYTHING that ever happened between us. I put up with it because my self esteem was so low I didn't think I could do any better. This went on for about 2 months until he dumped me.
One significant thing came out of this ordeal. One night I was hanging at the apartment and my friend Jimmy called me into the other room. He had a HUGE rail laid out and handed me a straw. I looked over and saw this hot guy I had never seen before. Jimmy made introductions and told us to split what was laid out. This guy would become my second husband years later. How do I explain to my kids how we met? That's gonna be a tough one!
The end of my coke days came not too long afterwards. I was supposed to get my friend SH an 8 ball through a connection I had. I ended up getting ripped off to the tune of $275 of someone else's money. Needless to say SH was furious and I was on the verge of getting beaten, killed or both. DA's folks noticed how upset I was and asked me what was wrong. I broke down and told them the whole miserable story. They listened without judgement. Not only that they paid the debt for me so I would be safe! Kind of surreal, a Pentecostal couple bailing me out of a drug deal gone wrong. That's just the kind of people they are, they'll help you if you are honest!
I got a job hostessing at Damon's and began to save money for an apartment, as I felt DA's folks had done plenty for me already.
So as of the end of this post I had quit drinking and cocaine. Too bad I can't say it lasted forever. As always thanks for listening and God bless!

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