Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A very challenging week

This last week has been one of the most challenging ones I have faced so far. So much emotion that it almost broke me, but it didn't.

Crispy and I are still working things out. It's been a bit of a roller coaster ride as of late. There are things that both of us need to change, but it's not been easy. We are both stubborn as hell, and this process will take time. We love each other dearly though, and we're both willing to do the work.

The worst thing about the last week was losing Will to a heroin overdose. I have written about him on here before using the pseudonym WM. He was a great guy who left behind 4 children, including my goddaughter Kaitlyn, who is only 2.

He always had a pretty nasty drinking problem, but was functional. Then heroin came along a few years ago. He started by snorting it until, like so many of us, he graduated to the needle. He and V were in a completely dysfunctional relationship which revolved around heroin rather than their kids or building a life together. When he found out she was cheating on him 5 months ago he packed up and moved to his parents' in Michigan. He was clean the entire time.

He arrived back in Richmond on Thursday night. By Friday morning he was dead.

I've been a mess about this all week because it could have easily been me. I can't believe I will never see him again. My grief is mixed with a good amount of anger though. It was completely selfish of him to choose getting a buzz over being responsible. Now his children have no father.

There are rumors floating around Richmond that it is being investigated as a possible homicide. When Will died he was at an old friend of mine's apartment. This friend got home from working 3rd shift and found him. I can't be sure, but I think he got Will the heroin the night before. When the police and paramedics arrived, the scene had been cleaned up. They call it suspicious but I just think the friend panicked and tried to get rid of any and all paraphernalia that was laying around.

What do you guys think? If someone provides drugs for a person and the person ends up dead, should they be held accountable? The person who found Will was one of his best, oldest friends so I think the guilt will be worse than any prison sentence.

On a brighter note, yesterday was my 34th birthday, and I saw it clean and sober. It was a nice day, albeit VERY hot. I got lots of birthday wishes from my Facebook friends and Twitter peeps, so that made me feel very loved! Thanks guys! The kids made me stay in my room for an hour so they could give me a party. They hung everything from Christmas tinsel to 8 different colors of streamers on the wall. They also invented games for us to play. My dining room is a WRECK now, but the clean up is worth it. SO much fun! I ended the evening by cuddling in bed with Crispy, eating a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream, and watching Reservoir Dogs. In the words of Ice Cube, "I'd have to say it was a good day!"

In closing I would like to say Happy Birthday to my big brother William Christopher Head, who passed away in 1998. He was a gruff man's man who loved motorcycles, beer, and red meat. He had more than a passing resemblance to Santa Claus, if Santa liked Harleys. He also had an amazing talent for choppers. He could build a bike using nothing but scrap metal and duct tape. I miss you Chris, and I hope you are proud of your baby sister!

As always, thanks for listening and God bless!

1 comment:

  1. "What do you guys think? If someone provides drugs for a person and the person ends up dead, should they be held accountable?"

    Legally, no. Said person will blame him/herself enough, forever (unless they're either sociopathic or just far enough removed from the situation/major dealer so it doesn't matter to them - and even they shouldn't be held legally responsible) And that blaming thing, it really sucks, let me tell you.